So…. It’s been like a month and a half. Sorry about that, apparently life happens some times. This is an older strip I drew awhile ago, I just hadn’t posted it or written about it. I’m a weirdo, I know. I was going to post earlier, but things like MegaMan 9 popped up. Honestly, just go play it. The 16 years was actually… kind of worth it. Friggin awesome. Anyways, I’m hoping to be back to a much more regular update schedule, so stick around if you’re still here somewhere.
Yes, that’s right. AC/DC will release their album only at walmart. Don’t believe me? Either ask Google or look HERE. What’s next, Metallicas new album at Zellers “Lowest price is the law”? I understand that CD sales are flagging, but how in the world do you compensate for that by offering it for sale at LESS places? How does that make a smidgin of sense? I know they don’t sell their songs on itunes (I refuse to capitalize “correctly”, it’s stupid) either. Meh, their last album 8 years ago wasn’t stellar, can’t imagine all the time off has actually made an improvement.
I also enjoyed Metallicas James Hatfield saying that if they can’t make songs their fans will all like, that they have to love them, and that it has to “come from within”. Does that sound like emo crap to you? I know Load and St.Anger weren’t really classic Metallica, but when you hit middle age you’re going to get less hardcore (Kieth Richards is of course an exception, anybody that snorts his fathers ashes is hardcore in my books). But just because you’re old, and the kids these days love emo bands does NOT give you permission to destroy what tiny last shred of credibility you had. It reminds me very much of a MuchMusic special with Good Charlotte, after their last new album. In their heavy black makeup, black leather and ridiculous hair they yakked about how much it took out of them to make the album, and how it came from within. I hope after their next album the combine and make… Good Metallica! (Hahahahaha)
Well, maybe they don’t make you stupid, but “Genius Bar” is really frickin stupid. Do you know what a genius is supposed to be? “A genius is a person of great intelligence, who shows an exceptional natural capacity of intellect, especially as shown in creative and original work. Geniuses always show strong individuality and imagination, and are not only intelligent, but unique and innovative.”
So you’re telling me that the guy behind the counter that’s earning a pittance, incorrectly diagnosing problems that they’ve seen a million times that could be figure out with 5 minutes and google, is a genius. How incredibly pretentious is that? Our techs aren’t just smart, they’re actually geniuses!(geniusi?) If they were geniuses (genii?) they would be able to actually fix the problems. Instead of saying “your screen is busted, it’ll cost $1100 in parts and labour to fix” they could say “its probably the DSVR cable, I’ll have it fixed in 20 minutes” And that’s not even genius, that’s a basic knowledge of products and the ability to use a frickin screwdriver.
And while I’m on it, why do they call it a bar? I bet that’s why their “geniuses” (genius’s?) are incapable of basic diagnosis. Just a little utilization of the “bar” part.
Oh yea, remember Claire? She’s still around. Anyways, I cannot for the life of me remember what in the world I was talking about, but I got onto the topic of cats, and their shenanigans. My sister has a new kitten, and the thing is just plain nuts. My cat is significantly more subdued, and has in fact become a little fat and lazy dispite the fact that she is an outdoor cat. Maybe somebody else is feeding her? I know, I know, Simpsons did it. You know they have dog racing, and cock fights. So I thought, if you combine the two, what do you have? Cat wrestling! Judging by my cat, it would be a pretty… awesome? spectacle. I, of course, decided to invent World Wrestling Catertainment! I then wrote a Wikipedia article about it, which can be found HERE. Unfortunately it was taken down in less than a day, though I told them references were forthcoming. (I would have made some up)
Also… what the heck is with wikipedia? People have literally devoted their lives to judging contributions to a free online encyclopedia. You get a PHD and then realize all you’re qualified to do is teach that subject and edit wikipedia? Yeesh. I love it though, people giving their lives value by judging my Catertainment entry worthy of speedy deletion within 10 minutes. Oh well, I guess it’s not a true free encyclopedia.
So. Imagine this if you will. You see a man, a lackey. He realizes that many people that have tried to buy their game in the way that is in fact BEST for the company (no storefront overhead) can actually not, in fact, play the game. He brings this up with his boss, who brings it up with his boss and so on. The CEO has no idea whats going on, and drifts off into dreams of pastry delights. It then gets passed all the way back down until the person that is now responsible for creating a fix is in fact just a forum moderator that noticed a lot of people typing in CAPS. So, he downloads the NoCD crack for the game (Created by the group RELOADED), renames the .exe and BAM. 3 hour lunch. If you dare, continue reading this sordid little tale here.
The last bit is a tad older, and I like to imagine that CEO Yves Guiellmot sits in his office, laughing at his own cruel irony. (Yes, that ironing IS delicious) The country that his little studio started in, that he was born in, cannot actually purchase his games on Steam. In fact… nobody outside North America can. Why is that sir? Oh wait, you haven’t given a valid reason. Right. Also, why when you install a game from Ubisoft (pronounced you-bee-soft, not oo-bee-soft, you knuckle draggers) does a little program PowerREGISTER show up in my task manager? Surely you just want to save me from viruses and other bad things. And why have you stopped giving review copies to EGM? Oh right, because your games were crap and for once a publication actually called you on it. You got mad, picked up your video games and went home. Classy sir, you just reached the emotional maturity of a 5 year old.
Sorry, that’s not fair. The kindergarten kids I teach are much more mature than that.